He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
