About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This baby is an asshole
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
