Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
