I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
