How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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