Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
