As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you will always have a special place in my vag
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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