He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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