That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
