considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
