Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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