:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
