I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's great music for shaving your balls
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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