bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
