i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
