My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
