Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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