This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
