I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
