I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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