I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
