I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
