would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
