I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
