watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
