he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
