May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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