U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
