What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
