When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
