i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
