Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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