I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
