She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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