he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
