I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize