i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
