I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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