My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this will be a night to untag.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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