"it" just moved
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
