Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
