Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
