ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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