Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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