Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
