why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
