Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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