I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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