I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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