i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
