Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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